Remembering Brandon Landrum

The friends you have when you are young hold an enormous influence over who you will inevitably become. This could not be more true for the influence my friend Brandon Landrum had in my life. I met Brandon at the age of 13 at our school's academic quiz team practice - a strange but appropriate place for us to meet. Brandon and I were both smart, but never fit any typical mold. We were too mischievous and fun-loving for that. Brandon and I became instant friends and partners in crime. In the midst of the confusion and hormones of junior high school, Brandon was always someone to trust, someone to conspire with, someone to face the perplexities of teenage girls with. Even at our age, he was always loyal, always up for mischief, always brave, always honorable, always an incredibly hard-worker, always larger than life, always ornery - attributes I know never left him even as we grew into men. These are traits of a good man, a good friend, a good husband, a good soldier, a good father - all of which led Brandon down the paths that he took. Yesterday I learned that Brandon was killed in action in Afghanistan.

It's easy to trace who I am as a man today to my friendship with Brandon Landrum. I'm not sure if my spontaneity, my wildness, my loyalty, any ounce of bravery I possess were in me prior to knowing Brandon, but I do know for sure that these attributes became pronounced and grew because of our friendship. My first clear memory of Brandon involved our convincing a kid from an academic team of another school to let us boost him up onto the roof of the school, only to abandon him for an hour while his team competed. Though this is not an event I am particularly proud of (even if I still chuckle), it is implicit of my relationship with Brandon and a fitting first memory. It was events like these that led our junior high principal, Mrs. Montz, to question to our faces while sitting in her office one afternoon whether we would ever amount to much. While I don't blame her based on the evidence before her, she could not have been more wrong.

Yesterday as I sat and wept for this great loss, my mind was flooded with memories. Here are a few of them:

I remember nights where we snuck out of our parents' houses to play black ops. A game that involved dressing in all-black armed with sling shots, paint balls, an assortment of tools, and harnesses (for hanging suspended from tree limbs), to complete "missions" around our neighborhood. These missions often involved rearranging street signs or removing Christmas lights off one house only to put them on their neighbor's house.

I remember the time Brandon broke my nose when we were wrestling in my front yard trying to impress two girls (a memory that will always bear its mark half an inch above the tip of my nose). I'm not sure how impressed the girls were.

I remember regularly showing up to junior high both dressed in the following: combat gear, kilts (we were the Highlanders after all), suits and ties, car mechanic coveralls.

I remember sitting on his back porch shooting birds with bb guns and then trying to figure out how to de-feather and cook them.

I remember when I had my first kiss on the trampoline in Brandon's backyard, only to find out that it wasn't my smooth talking that won her over, but the $5 Brandon had paid her beforehand.

I remember when other junior high boys would participate in degrading talk or course joking, Brandon never would. His sense of honor and respect was unmatchable even then.

I remember how hard we worked one summer mowing lawns, only to spend nearly every penny on fireworks. I understand now why my grandfather told the two of us that fireworks were "the closest thing there was to literally burning your money." Our work ethic often found its match in our love of fire and explosions.

I remember pouring gasoline on our bosses' lawn that same summer in the form of the letters "YOU SUCK" because we felt we had been cheated out of money that was owed to us. That's junior high justice at work.

I remember how our level of adventure and mischief multiplied the day Brandon got his motorcycle license and purchased his first 200cc bike.

I remember both of us receiving in-school suspension for performing "the worm" in the middle of class on a dare. Also, later for a scheme we dreamt up that involved the selling of bus passes. We were likely  the source for many-a-nightmare for our teachers.

I remember when we were angry at a high school boy that lived up the street from Brandon, so we hid in the boat next to the house with water balloons and a water balloon launcher waiting for him to drive past in his souped up 80-something Thunderbird. When he did we nailed his windshield with all the force the bungee cords could muster. We hadn't taken into consideration that he might slam on his brakes, chase us down, and give us the worst tongue lashing we could have imagined. Frequently boys don't take all angles into consideration.

I remember watching Brandon serve at church, pray, and read his Bible. I never knew anyone our age as committed to their faith.

I remember countless nights sleeping at his house or he at mine. I remember how much his parents treated me like their son and how much mine were like his.

I remember how hard it was for both of us when I learned that I was moving to Texas at the beginning of our 9th grade year. I remember sleeping on the floor of his parents house frequently as we spent one last summer together.

Looking back, I know that much of our extra energy could have been put to more redeeming causes, but I wouldn't take a single adventure back and I cannot imagine a better friend to have had. I know now that our adventures were more than mischievous, they were molding. As a man, every time I choose courage over cowardice, every time I show respect to a woman as opposed to degrading her, every time I choose adventure and spontaneity over an average day, every time I choose discipline over sloth, every time I choose to work hard to take pride in my work instead of choosing laziness or good-enough - I easily trace these choices back to my friendship with Brandon. Even at that age he was a lion.

I grieve today for the loss of my friend Brandon. I grieve today for his mom and dad, who for many years were a mom and dad to me too. I grieve for his wife, Miranda who should never know a loss like this. I grieve for his beautiful children, Gabriel and Blakely, who should be told daily what an incredible man their daddy was.

I know that Brandon is with Christ now and I take comfort in this, but it doesn't completely relieve the sting of pain. Brandon's life and legacy live on through me, through his son, through any that allowed themselves to know and be affected by Brandon. There has never been anyone like Brandon and I thank God for putting him in my life at just the right time.

Baseball Cards, Candy, and the Child-Miser

When I was young, I got a rush out of possessing. The fact that I had something was of far greater value that what that thing could do for me. Here are a few examples:

Halloween candy - Every year that I got a satchel of candy, inevitably it would sit in that same satchel for years until ants got it. I could never bring myself to eat my candy.

Allowance - My $2.00/week allowance was saved scrupulously throughout childhood. I permitted myself one luxury a week, a pack of baseball cards (which I'll get to next). The rest was put away in my savings account not to be touched. By the time I was 12, I purchased my first mutual fund which subsequently dropped in value by 40% after 9/11.
Baseball cards - Once a week, we would stop by the PX (Post Exchange for civilians) and I would drop a precious quarter on a pack of baseball cards. I would arrange them in card protector sheets by team and then alphabetized by last name. I had no idea what was good and what was not good. I merely possessed them. I didn't know what an RBI was until well into high school.

The point is that I am a changed man. Those who know me now can probably see some of these childhood tendencies in me, but for the most part, I eat my cake. I advocate financial responsibility, but the childhood-version of Scott would not have absconded with his wife for a summer in Nicaragua. We would not travel to see friends in Chicago, Portland, and San Francisco. He would have not have quit his job to pursue a career in architecture.

All this said, I am proud to be a dynamic character in this story. We all have the propensity to change and engage life more than a sack of ant-ridden candy or an arbitrary collection of baseball cards.

Hannah Coulter - Quotes

"Love in this world doesn't come out of thin air. It is not something thought up. Like ourselves, it grows out of the ground. It has a body and a place."

-- voice of Hannah Coulter (from Wendell Berry's book Hannah Coulter)

"Oh, yes, brothers and sisters, we are members one of another. The difference, beloved, ain't in who is and who's not, but in who knows it and who don't. Oh, my friends, there ain't no nonmembers, living nor dead nor yet to come. Do you know it? Or do you don't? A man is a member of a woman and a worm. A woman is a member of a man and a mole. Oh, beloved, it's all one piece of work."

-- voice of Burley Coulter (from Wendell Berry's book Hannah Coulter)

Proceed and Be Bold - Quote

"[G]oodness is more important than greatness, compassion more essential than passion."

-- attributed to SAMUEL MOCKBEE (taken from Andrea Oppenheimer Dean & Timothy Hursley's Proceed and Be Bold: Rural Studio After Samuel Mockbee)

How to Start a Library (for those with 5 weeks to spare)

The following is intended to be a tongue and cheek DIY post:

1. Get inspired by Emily Moberly and her non-profit, Traveling Stories, who saw a literacy problem and now works every day to rectify them.

2. Find some people that need a library. In our case, we had already been invited to participate with a different non-profit, ETCA [threads], in Nicaragua and asked about their needs.

3. Find organizations that are already in work in your chosen area! If you can't find one, go back to step 2. You will not be able to start or sustain a library in a foreign land without at least one organization that is already on the ground there and doing great work.

4. Figure out how much money you need. $3,000 was our magic number - it was easy and rolled off the tongue nicely. It turned out to be about right for our 400 books starter library.

5. Determine your unique purchasing needs; if there are books locally available or if it makes the most sense to buy the books state-side and ship them. Managua, Nicaragua, like most big cities, had bookstores and our dollar to cordoba exchange rate translated into great prices. Additionally, shipping there is unreliable and expensive. Easy choice for us!

6. Raise money through Traveling Stories and their easy online donation tool! This allows your donors to receive a tax-deduction. We raised the bulk of ours through a children's literature theatre we called Storybook Campout. The rest came from donations from friends and family.

6. Go to your chosen foreign land. We paid for our trip out of our own savings as we intended to travel for a bit after we finished. I don't like it when other people ask me to pay for their vacations, so I didn't ask anyone to pay for mine.

7. Meet with your partner organizations (and various political entities as required). We were obliged to meet with the mayor of the El Transito area (he oversees about 15 small towns). He was unhelpful - I'll leave it at that. However, ETCA [threads] and NICA were fantastic. Without their help, there would be no library. These two, along with future donations through Traveling Stories, will sustain the library for years to come.

8. Steal an organizing system from a successful library in the country. We took a trip down to San Juan del Sur where the first lending library in Nicaragua still lends books. It's a wonderful place full of kids reading and doing homework. The staff was gracious and patient with our questions and set us on course to organizing our future books.

9. Secure your building. Although we were promised a building by the above mentioned mayor, he did not come through. We were forced to scramble for a new location. Thankfully Julie of ETCA pulled through with Rancho Fifo, an old building on here property. It was in great shape, all things considered, and accessible. We had the option to use the public school building, but we felt this would isolate the kids from the private school in town.

10. Remodel your space and build/buy shelves. We chose to build shelves as we had some shelves from an old US Embassy donated to us by NICA. We had a local carpenter redo the shelves, sand and paint them, and add a wall within Rancho Fifo so Julie could still use half of the building.

11. Set book buying goals. We intended to target the younger demographic in town. This being said, we started our book list with the schools. We asked the teachers, who are both surprisingly Nicaraguan and well versed in the needs of their kids, and they provided us with their wishlist. After their list was fulfilled, Emily and Hannah, who work with kids in a formal setting regularly, selected the remaining children's books. We included some popular titles, some books with lots of pictures and info (think books about sharks, soccer players, etc.), and lots of useful resources for the teachers. We bought about 5 cookbooks and those were quite popular with the ladies in town.

12. Buy your books. So we went to many, many "bookstores" in Managua that didn't actually sell books (well, not in any great quantity anyway). We finally found our match in Hispamer (To Read is to Grow - AMEN!) and they were a great resource. They even allowed me to negotiate a 10% discount on our entire purchase. In a country with a 15% sales tax, that was a needed help.

13. Get your books back to the library - safely. Yes, I know this sounds obvious, but it is not as easy as it sounds with no car in a developing country where it rains a lot and with people who like to take things out of the back of trucks. Thanks to Julie, we got them back safely while we stayed in Managua to buy more paint and a few fans for our oven of a library. The four gringos got some funny looks boarding the bus with 3 gallons of paint and miscellaneous hardware.

14. Organize your books. We used the SJDS system as stated in step 9.

15. Build a table out of scrap wood that you found (optional). We needed a table and Eric and I needed to get out some creative energy. So...

16. Finish any last detail work in the space. Our painter was not much of one. We got to spend a good chunk of a Saturday and Sunday finishing what our paid painter did not.

17. Stock the library. What a wonderful feeling this was! We hung the maps, the rules, and stocked the shelves.

18. Train your staff and volunteers. One of the most amazing gifts NICA gave the library was a salaried librarian ($50/month for 10 hours/week). He recruited 5 high school students to volunteer who in turn get 1 hour of internet per week thanks to Julie. The rules were straight forward and we spent the most time training on how to restock the shelves and how to organize future purchases. We noticed that, as many of the kids had never seemed to handle a book before, that it was important that our staff keep a watchful eye on those with wild fingers. Darwing, our librarian, is responsible for submitting a report every month detailing book usage, donations, registered users, etc.

19. Hire a truck with a megaphone on top to advertise the new library. Pretty self-explanatory. Best $20 I spent the whole trip.

20. Open the doors of the library complete with cookies and Fanta! The first three days were flooded with 20-30 kids per day. It has since dropped to about 10 to 15 per day, but we thank God for the sustained presence of children reading daily! The library is open every week day for 2 hours.

21. Stand back and give thanks. Specifically, thank you to Julie Sim Edwards for everything - help, the building, the transportion, again, everything. Thank you to Claudia Tinoco from NICA for all her advise and assistance. Thanks to Terri Marlet and NICA and Maribel Pasos for the use of the apartment in Managua, for your organization's ongoing work despite frustrating circumstances at times, and for your vision. Thank you to all who donated. We still feel like you couldn't have used your money in a better way! We sincerely thank God for opening so many doors. We often couldn't believe how well the path was paved before us.

We could not have imagined better success or a better way to spend a summer. More personal reflections in the next pots.

Video of our Summer

Hello friends -

We are in Belton visiting family right now, which means we've had time to reflect further on our trip. More importantly, I've had time to put together a short slideshow/video of our summer.

ENJOY!

We Have Returned

We are back in the States early. We returned today and are thankful for our summer.

I apologize for the lack of updates - I have had on average about and hour of world wide web time a week and that has been generally dedicated to library issues and prospects, Skype with family, and figuring out some travel plans.

Reflections to come...